


Things Missed

by yougotmetieddown



Category: BBC Radio 1 RPF, One Direction (Band)
Genre: Canon Compliant, Getting Back Together, Light Dom/sub, M/M, Mental Health Issues, Polyamory
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-09
Updated: 2018-04-09
Packaged: 2019-04-20 19:52:04
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,119
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14268333
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yougotmetieddown/pseuds/yougotmetieddown
Summary: "Like, suddenly you were there looking all -” he can’t find a word so he just waves a hand in Louis’ general direction, “- and I guess my brain went back there and I ended up, what was it even - ““Awkwardly coming onto me?” Louis chuckles.“I didn’t expect you to say yes!”“Wanted it too much not to.” And. Well.“Wanted you too,” Nick admits. “Always wanted you.”Or; they finally talk it out.





	Things Missed

**Author's Note:**

> Takes place sometime spring 2018.

Nick spots Louis two hours into the party, when he's already worked up something of a buzz, if you can call it a buzz when you’re bored out of your mind. He's standing against a wall in a corner by the bar fiddling with his phone and for a second Nick's just stuck there staring at the way the light from his screen hits his face. It was bound to happen eventually, him and Louis running into another at one of these indunstry things, in fact it used to happen all the time back when - Well, back when.

Nick pushes the thought back and maybe it's the sparkling wine in his system, or how incredibly boring the night has been thus far, but he finds crossing the room full of people in faux casual suit jackets and jeans to Louis.

"Hiya," he says and Louis raises his eyes from the phone, eyes widening a bit and then turning all crinkly when he grins, and Nick's taken aback, his bravado faltering, because Louis is giving him this big easy smile and it's. It's a lot.

"Oh thank god, finally someone who speaks English," Louis’ saying, already on a ramble, "I hate these damn things, but Martha, she's always going on about networking and I try to tell her that it's actually _better_ for business if I don't come, I always do something rude or -"

"Like scrolling twitter in a dark corner?" Nick asks on a chuckle.

"Shut up,” Louis grins, “I've had to sit through five conversations about, like, investments and shit, I deserve a bit of twitter."

"Wanna know my secret?" Nick asks, leaning his back on the wall next to him. Louis is still just as short as he used to be, and he’s looking up at Nick through his eyelashes and Nick thinks fuck it. “I get myself nice and drunk on the open bar and when the room’s starting to spin I take the party back to mine.”

Louis looks taken aback for a second before bursting into laughter, an honest genuine one that lights up his eyes. “That was _awful_ , Grimshaw.”

Nick takes a sip from his glass to hide his nerves, about to backtrack with a joke because _what the fuck Nick, boundaries, it’s been literal years,_ but Louis stuffs his phone in his pocket, stands up from his slouch against the wall and gives him a look Nick can’t read. “The room isn’t spinning yet but to be honest I’d rather leave before it does.”

Now Nick’s the one widening his eyes in surprise. He hadn’t thought anything would come from this, just a bit of banter, but. Yeah. Sure.

 

Pig’s about to wag her tail off jumping over Louis and the sight’s so damn _familiar_ Nick doesn’t know what to do with himself. Then Louis’ cooing something like “Aw babe I missed you too,” and Nick jumps over Stinky to get to the kitchen to catch his breath.

Why, Nick thinks while rummaging his cabinets looking for the bottle of wine Fiona brought over last week, _why do you do these things to yourself, Nick. You could have just left him there, you could have not spoken to him or at least not invite him to your home, Jesus._

He shoots her a text, _Where tf did you leave the wine fifi i have louis tomlinson in my flat need to get more drunk,_ but before he can hit send on another text of a row of just the SOS emoji Louis’ standing there in the doorway. Pig’s still wagging her tail and Stinky’s snorting excitedly as if to say _Look dad did you notice this nice man in your doorway did you notice him did you._

“I should -” Nick starts, gets distracted by the way Louis is nervously fiddling with the drawstring of his joggers because of course he would wear a sweatsuit to a smart casual outing just to fuck with the parts of Nick that are still far too fond of him, “I should let the dogs out?” He winces at how he sounds and realizes too late he did it with his face, not just internally, but Louis has the drawstring wrapped fully around his finger now so it’s not like they’re not in the same boat. Or at least they’re both in _a_ boat, Nick thinks, and yeah, dogs, out.

 

The dogs are running laps around his small backyard chasing each other when Nick finally finds something to say. “So, this is weird.”

Louis chuckles, meets his eyes for a second and then averts them back to the dogs. “Yeah.” That’s putting it lightly.

There’s still a small smile on his lips though and it’s mostly that that encourages Nick to continue. “It wasn’t weird in the taxi, why’s it weird now?” In the taxi it had been easy, almost comfortable. Small talk and jokes about ditching the driest party of the century, easy.

“Probably cos we’re here, yeah?” Louis’s saying, looking around him from where he’s leaning against the frame of the porch door opposite from Nick. “Taxi was like neutral ground but this…” This is anything but.

Nick hums. He talks for a goddamn living, why do words fail him in situations like these?

“You think she remembers me?” Louis asks, nodding at Pig chasing her tail. Stinky’s yipping at her, like she’s making fun of her.

“Must do,” Nick decides after a moment. “She’s smarter than she looks.”

“Think she missed me?” Their eyes meet, Louis’ nervous and earnest, and Nick doesn’t think he’s talking about just Pig anymore.

“Yeah,” he says, nods.

Louis holds his eyes for a couple more beats of his heart before looking down at his shoes. “Look, I’m…”

Nick waits, listens to his own heartbeat getting louder.

“Fuck, I’m not ready for this,” Louis huffs and Nick feels his stomach sink, just a bit.

“We don’t have to do this now, or, like, ever -”

“No, that came out wrong.” Louis’ chewing his lower lip. “I’m not _prepared_ for this, this is sudden, I didn’t have time to prepare.” He inhales, sets his jaw, raises his eyes back to Nick’s. “I want to do this.”

Nick has no idea what _this_ really means, but then Louis’ eyes flick down to his lips, and, well.

Kissing Louis was always an experience, a fucking whilrwind of emotions and feelings that had the ability to knock Nick off his feet from the sheer intensity of it all. It was something about the contrast between how small Louis was against him, and the dominance he put into every movement. It’s been years and apparently not much has changed. Louis’ mouth is soft but hard against his, fierce but gentle, his hand strong where it’s cradling Nick’s neck, the push and pull of their movements not as in synch as they used to be, but quickly getting there. It feels too much too sudden, Louis’ mouth against his, fingers tangling in his hair, his waist under Nick’s hands, his body flush against him from pushing Nick into the doorframe, and Nick’s feeling lightheaded, blood rushing in his ears and then -

Then just as sudden as it started, Louis’ pulling off.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck,” he’s saying, mouth wet, the tops of his cheekbones flushed, and the sight of him like this opens the floodgates, memories rushing back into Nick’s mind, memories of him wet-mouthed and flushed, and the blood from his ears is changing direction downwards before he hears “Fuck, we can’t.”

The words fall on him like a fucking ice bucket challenge a lá 2014.

“Fuck, I’m so sorry, I - “ Nick hears himself saying, pushing Louis away, thinking _he has a son, and a girlfriend, all those places in his life where Nick used to fit are taken now._

“No, I _want_ , I do, I just,” Louis runs a shaky hand over his face. “We should talk?”

And _that_ is new.

“I, yeah?” Nick asks because Louis _never_ wanted to talk, if they ever had an unspoken rule that was it, and, okay, so, Nick had hoped that whatever had made Louis such a mess back then was easing up, but. It’s only after that thought that the _I want_ hits him, and he’s left trying to swallow past the nervous lump in his throat.

Louis nods, his eyes determined before he looks away, turns to the dogs, claps his hands and calls out “Piggie dog, Stinky Blob,” and _wait he knows Stinky’s whole name?_ The dogs run to them, Stinky’s tongue lolling out of his mouth and Nick’s head is spinning and sitting down seems like a really good idea so he backs up to the living room couch while Louis closes the door. Stinky jumps into Nick’s lap, panting dog breath at his face while Pig curls up at his feet. Louis sits on the couch left from him, a polite distance away, and Nick doesn’t know whether he hates that or is thankful for it.

Nick thinks longingly back to the mysterious hidden wine bottle in the kitchen but if Louis wants to be all _serious grown up_ about this, more alcohol in their systems is probably the last thing they need.

“So,” Nick starts after the moment has stretched to awkward, and because he has to say it, he can’t have this conversation if they’re gonna dance around it. “Last I heard you were back together with a girlfriend.”

“Yeah,” Louist starts. “Yeah, I…”

Nick waits, rubbing Stinky’s ears to avoid looking at Louis who he can hear is shifting in that nervous way he does.

“We have this...open...thing?” Louis says.

Nick glances at him to see him wince, probably at the hesitance in his own voice.

“I mean, she has these two guys that she’s seeing while I’m away, and…”

“You’re okay with that?” Nick has to ask, because even though they were never exclusive or anything he still remember how pissed and hurt Louis got when he realized Nick had been sleeping with others, and wow, yeah, that is not a fight he wants to be reminiscing over right now.

“I am,” Louis nods, and this time his voice doesn’t waver. “The main reason it ended between me and El was because I couldn’t be there for her, like, she needed more and I wasn’t, I couldn’t be…” He shrugs. “So this way she has others caring for her too and it’s, like, we’ve finally made it work. Like, I love her, and we’ve found a way to be together without it putting too much strain on us, so, yeah.”

“And you?”

“Well, I mean, I haven’t… I haven’t been with others, but we’ve talked about it, like, that she’d be okay with it if you and I ever -” Louis shuts up. Bites his lip and looks away. 

Well. That’s. Something.

Nick shifts and turns to face Louis properly, Stinky taking the hint and hopping to the floor. Louis’ fingers are back to fiddling with the drawstring of his joggers. The silence stretches as Nick leans his side on the back of the sofa.

“You been thinking about it then?” he asks, nervous hand going up to where his quiff’s starting to flop. “Me and you?”

“Well, yeah,” Louis huffs, crossing his arms like he used to when he felt cornered, uncomfortable.

“Me too,” Nick admits quickly to reassure him.

Louis sneaks a glance at him. “Yeah?”

“Yeah,” Nick gives him a small smile. “Loads.”

“Yeah?” Louis smiles back, hesitantly.

There’s a moment of them just looking at each other before Louis averts his eyes. The flush is back on his cheeks.

“I missed you,” Nick says, taking a leap, being brave for once. “And not just like, I mean, not just the sex or whatever -,” _or whatever_ , god he’s already putting his foot in his mouth, “- but, just. How you were doing, if you were doing okay, that kinda thing.” _If you were still as angry and hurt and miserable._

“I’m doing okay, me,” Louis says. “Doing okay, like, better. Loads better.”

“I’m glad to hear that,” Nick says and hopes it doesn’t sound fake because he _is._ “Like, you came on the show and you seemed -” _happy, calm, settled,_ and after Nick came home that day it felt like one of the rubber bands squeezing around his ribcage, making it hard to breathe sometimes, had snapped and fell off. Louis wasn’t his, but he seemed to be doing better.

“Yeah,” Louis’ nodding. “That was a really good day, like, not gonna lie I was fucking terrified coming on but you made it so comfortable and, uh, not weird, like, it could’ve been awful but it was just…”

“Nice,” Nick offers.

“Yeah,” Louis smiles. “Really nice.”

There’s a lull in the conversation and Nick hears what sounds suspiciously like Pig pushing open the bedroom door upstairs and Stinky’s suspiciously missing from his feet as well, but right here right now with Louis he can’t bring himself to care about potential dog fur on his sheets.

“I’m sorry,” Louis says then and it’s unexpected enough to startle Nick some.

“I am, and I never said it to you but apologising is something I’ve been working on, and, yeah.” He’s back to biting his lip and staring at his fingers. “I was unfair to you, and treated you like shit, and shut you down every time you tried to fucking communicate, and...”

“You were going through stuff though,” Nick tries, but Louis shakes his head at him, and when their eyes meet Louis’ are fierce.

“That doesn’t excuse the shit I did,” he says. “Like yeah, it’s true, but it’s no excuse.”

Nick just nods, startled by the realization that he’s even owed an apology. He never blamed Louis, even when he was hurt, even when he drank and cried on Aimee’s shoulder because he had _a thing with this dead gorgeous closeted boy, yeah, who hates every bit of himself that isn’t straight so he hates me too, Aims, because I let him fuck me, and even still I’m like this close to proper falling for him, and if he could just stop being so fucking scared I think we really could have something, we could,_ even then he didn’t think Louis owed him an apology. That’s fucked up, that must be fucked up, right, and god, have they reached a state where Louis is the more mentally stable one?

“I, um…” he trails off.

“You can just say you accept the apology and we can get back to this later, if you want?” Louis says, surprisingly gentle. “Or we can get into it now too, if you want, it’s just -” he waves his hand at Nick, “- you seem like maybe you need time?”

“Shit, when did you become this emotionally mature?”

“Two years of intensive therapy can do that you,” Louis shrugs, grinning, like it’s easy, like he’s the kind of person who can talk about going to therapy without bristling into a ball of insults and cold remarks.

“Maybe I should try that,” Nick says, and he realizes he doesn’t mean it as a joke this time. Maybe he _should._

“And becoming a parent helps a lot with matureness in general.” Louis’ grin softens, slowly turns into this fond warm thing, and Nick must be staring but it’s fascinating. By this point in his career Nick is literally a pro at spotting chances to guide a conversation into something nicer and he runs with it. Also, _babies._

So. “How is Freddie?”

“He’s amazing,” is Louis’ instant reply, and Nick can see his eyes lighting up. “He runs _everywhere_ , like it took him a bit of time to gain the confidence but now he’s started he won’t stop. We play footie a lot, or well, he runs after the ball and I try to catch him.”

“Isn’t that all there is to footie, though?” Nick grins.

“Shut up,” Louis swats at his leg, grinning back. “He’s also started stringing words together, not like proper sentences yet but he knows enough words to put some of them in order, and, yeah, he’s amazing.”

“What’s he call you?”

“Lou,” and the way Louis says that has something warm twisting in Nick’s chest. “Probably should be daddy or something but Lou was easier in the beginning, one syllable y’know, and then it stuck.”

“Nah, if it works for you then it shouldn’t be anything else,” Nick says, and Louis looks taken aback for a split second before smiling softly, the corners of his eyes crinkling, and fuck, all this stuff happening to Nick’s insides is a lot but fuck, _Louis is a dad. Louis is happy, and he’s a dad._

“I’d love to meet him,” comes out Nick’s mouth and shit, too soon? It’s far too soon, shit, they’ve had one kiss and a bit of a talk and already Nick’s pushing into the most important parts of Louis’ life, like he’s in any place to -

But before he can backtrack Louis’ saying “I could probably get us tickets to LA like, right now,” with an easy, happy grin and, well.

“I love babies,” Nick says, like Louis doesn’t know, like this isn’t one of the things they used to bond over on easy days, days when Louis let his walls down. The thought of Louis having a child, becoming a parent, is one that’s left Nick with his heart swelling more than once, and aching too, aching that he’ll never be part of that, but. They’re here now. Talking about Freddie. Talking about him meeting Freddie.

“Freddie’ll love you,” Louis says, nods. “You’re great with kids.”

Nick tries not to feel too strongly about Louis saying _will_ , like it’s already been decided that they’ll meet, that Louis will let him into his life, but fuck that, if Louis can be emotionally honest with him the last he can do is do the same. He feels a bit weepy all of a sudden, brushes at his eye, and of course Louis notices, sharp as ever.

“You okay?”

“Yeah,” Nick sniffles. “Sorry, it’s just, it’s been a long day and this is… This is a lot.”

“Like, good or bad lot?”

“Good,” Nick chuckles and it comes out only a bit watery, “Definitely good.”

Louis takes a breath to say something, thinks better of it, then seems to think _fuck it_. “Can I -” he shifts closer, pulling his legs onto the couch and crossing them, his knees brushing Nick’s leg. His hand raises but halts mid-air. “Can I kiss you?”

 _Always, anytime, please, yes._ Nick nods.

It’s different from the kiss from earlier in every way except for how it makes Nick’s head spin. It’s soft, warm, just a press of lips against his and fingers gently holding his jaw in place. Louis pulls back but Nick leans back in and they stay like that for a bit, exchanging close mouthed kissed like a pair of nervous teenagers. And yeah, Nick might be over thirty but he certainly feels nervous like a teenager.

Eventually they both pull back. Nick opens his eyes first so he has the luxury of seeing the way Louis’ eyelids flutter open, revealing the shockingly clear blue Nick always got stuck staring at. Now Louis’ letting him, holding his gaze for heartbeat after heartbeat where before he usually averted his eyes and tried to break the moment whenever they got gentle like this.

“Why’d you invite me over?” he asks, voice soft. “I’m glad you did but it was really...unexpected.”

“I didn’t expect you to say yes,” Nick admits. “Just banter, really. Like, suddenly you were there looking all -” he can’t find a word so he just waves a hand in Louis’ general direction, “- and I guess my brain went back there and I ended up, what was it even - “

“Awkwardly coming onto me?” Louis chuckles.

“I didn’t expect you to say yes!”

“Wanted it too much not to.” And. Well.

“Wanted you too,” Nick admits. “Always wanted you.”

Louis’ back to kissing him then, and yeah, this time it’s not like they’re nervous teenagers. No, it’s still gentle but there’s heat behind it, intent, slowly building up with every movement, every shared breath. Louis’ tongue brushes against Nick’s lips and Nick can’t help the shocked breath that escapes his lips and fuck, he didn’t mean for things to turn heated, at least not yet, but Louis’ strong and firm and Nick melts right into it.

Louis slows them down and Nick’s grateful, can’t handle too much too fast. They don’t break the kiss but there’s no tongue anymore, just soft lips against Nick’s and hands resting on his shoulder and neck, a thumb swiping back and forth where his jaw meets his ear and he hopes this is even half as good for Louis as it is for him.

But then Louis’ pulling back and _wait, what, no, why -_

“One more thing,” Louis says, and when Nick gets his eyes open Louis’ dead serious, “I almost forgot, but this is important.”

“Uh-huh?”

“I’m bisexual.” Louis sets his jaw. “My friends know, my family knows, everyone who matters knows and,” he swallows. “It’s important that you know. That I tell you.”

Those rubber bands that Nick has over his ribcage? Another one of them snaps open.

“I don’t know if I’ll come out to, like, the world, cos I want to be prepared and ready and I’m not yet, but now with Harry and all, it’s got me thinking that maybe…”

The mention of Harry makes Nick’s chest warm up because he loves his friends so much and he’s so _proud_ , but this is important, so important, so he collects his thoughts.

“It’s okay that you don’t know,” Nick says, brushing a strand of hair from Louis’ face. “And if you decide to do it, it’s okay, and if you decide not to that’s okay too. Like, if it feels right then go for it, but don’t force yourself, yeah? There’s no wrong or right thing to do, other than what’s right for you.”

Louis has this sincere look on his face that has Nick prepared for a thank you or something, but then Louis’s mouth twitches and he ends up snickering instead. “Now who’s the emotionally mature one?”

“Only when it comes to gay shit,” Nick says, fighting to sound serious but in a bit they’re both giggling.

It wasn’t that funny really but they can’t stop laughing. At least half of it is just that it feels so good to be laughing with Louis, to be here, with him, sharing air and brushing knees.

Then they’re back to kissing, giggling and grinning between presses of their mouths and Nick’s fucking floating, pressing down the part of him that’s terrified that they’re gonna end up like last time, hurting each other, crashing and burning again and again, a trainwreck he was unable to take his eyes off. He’s not thinking of that right now, right now all he’s thinking of is how he wants Louis closer, wants Louis here, now, wants him to stay. Wants to wake up next morning with Louis still in his bed, like he did sometimes, sometimes he did stay. Wants to go to bed knowing he’ll still be there when Nick wakes up.

And, yeah, bed, bed seems like a good idea now that Louis’ sliding a hand under Nick’s shirt at his waist and Nick has to break the kiss just to gasp for a moment.

“This okay?” Louis asks.

“Yeah, yes, please,” Nick’s nodding, pulling Louis back into a kiss that Louis breaks to let out a breathy laugh.

“Always asked so nicely, Nicholas.”

And Nick’s getting lightheaded now, all the blood rushing to his dick probably, because the thing is he _did,_ Louis bringing out sides of him he barely ever showed anyone from the first time they drunkenly pulled each other off in Harry’s loo. He’d let out a breathy please, and something had lit up in Louis’ eyes, and, well, yeah.

He’s pulled Louis halfway to his lap and Louis sits up and straddles him properly, his lovely thighs and bum on Nick’s bony ones and they fit just like they used to, their bodies slotting together before their minds even properly realize what’s happening. Nick feels clumsy with his big hands on Louis’ small waist but Louis said he liked them once, liked how big they felt on him, and Louis might have lied about a lot of things back then but that had felt sincere, so Nick lets them span from Louis’ sides to his back and holds on as their eyes meet.

“What do you want?” Louis asks, swiping Nick’s wilted quiff off his face, and Nick has to focus to reply with something else than a desperate _anything_ or a tacky _you_ , but finds himself at a loss for words other than those.

Louis must take his hesitance for reluctance because he’s quick to slide his hand from under Nick’s shirt and add, “We can just snog, if you want. Love snogging, me. Or get back to talking, know you love that.”

“No, I want -” Nick starts, clears his throat. “Want this.”

Louis hesitates for a moment before pressing his lips together, getting a look in his eyes, _that look_. “What’s _this_ then, love?” Louis asks with a smile. “Want me to pull you off? Like our first time?” He leans in for a quick kiss, pressing hard and firm against Nick’s lips, lets their lips brush as he continues, “Or suck you down? Missed having a cock in my mouth.”

The thought of Louis on his knees hits Nick with a rush of memories of him doing exactly that and Nick’s head is definitely spinning now, his body sinking into the sofa cushions, jeans far, far too tight, but he doesn’t want to let go of Louis’s waist, of his weight on him. “Want you here,” he breathes out, “In my lap.”

“Can pull us off together, yeah, love?” Louis asks, hands moving to Nick’s flies. He waits for Nick to start nodding before popping the button open. It takes a bit of squirming to get Nick’s tight jeans open and low enough but then Louis’ cupping his dick through his pants while pulling down his own zipper and Nick can’t help his moan, hands going tight around Louis’ waist.

Before getting them both in hand Louis stops and meets his eyes. “D’ya want me to keep teasing? It’s a bit soon maybe?”

It probably _is_ too soon but Nick’s already feeling heavy and dizzy with it and he just _wants_. “I mean, if you don’t mind,” is what he gets out, trying to sound neutral, because he might want but the last thing he wants is to make Louis feel pressured.

“Oh, I really, really don’t mind,” Louis mutters, pulling him in for a kiss while his other hand gets their cocks out and squeezes them together.

Nick just sinks into it, Louis’ tongue in his mouth, hand on his cock, weight on top of him. Louis is strong and firm and all Nick can do is hold onto him, his waist, back, neck, thigh, the swell of his arse, and try and keep up.

It’s just like it used to be except it’s nothing like it. On the surface it’s the same, the way Louis’s kissing him, stroking them, the way he smells and tastes and feels, but the ever present panic, the fear of _when will this end, when will he be gone for good_ has eased up, replaced by a calm Nick has never felt with Louis before.

“Missed you,” he breathes out when they stop for air.

“Missed you too,” Louis gasps, pressing their foreheads together, their noses brushing. The slide of his hand is getting easier, wetter where Nick can feel himself leaking. Louis’ dick presses under the crown of Nick’s and he can’t help the moan and full body shiver.

“Yeah babe, wanna hear you,” Louis says, leaning back, his free hand stroking back and forth on Nick’s cheekbone, his eyes burning right through Nick. He’s slowly fucking up into his own fist, against Nick’s cock, chest raising and falling, and looking down on Nick he feels larger than life.

“Missed you like this,” Nick admits, dazed. “Missed you in control.”

Louis smiles, eyes flashing. “Missed you taking it so well.”

Nick has to close his eyes then, the eye contact feeling too much, yet not enough, _everything_ feeling too much yet not enough, and he’s getting close, what the fuck, he’s not a bloody kid, he’s not supposed to come in minutes like this.

“Taking it so well, Nick, gorgeous like this,” Louis’ muttering against his lips before pressing his tongue in where Nick’s panting, and just like that he’s gone, falling, the room tilting, blood rushing in his ears. It spreads through his body in waves, one after another, leaving him panting for air, tingling, shaky to his core.

When he comes back to it, blinks his eyes open, Louis’ biting his lip, whining high in his throat, panting out “Fuck, fuck, Nick, I -”, and _fuck_ Nick is glad to have opened his eyes because he gets to see the way Louis’ eyes close, his face scrunches up, his mouth falls open, and he realizes he’s never seen Louis’ face when he comes, Louis never let him see it before.

Louis slumps down onto him and his shirt must be covered in come, both of theirs must be, fuck, they really came still in their clothes on Nick’s couch. It’s been years since Nick hasn’t made it to the bedroom. Well, not since Louis.

He also realizes he didn’t even get to touch Louis, and, well, yeah.

“Sorry for being useless,” he slurs into Louis’ neck.

“S’okay, I like you like that,” Louis says, his mouth brushing Nick’s ear and sending a short wave of aftershocks through Nick’s body, making Nick almost miss it when Louis continues. “You can lick me out later if you really wanna make up for it.”

“Will you sit on my face?” The thought sends a rush of anticipation into Nick’s belly.

“Yeah,” Louis sighs, pressing a kiss behind Nick’s ear. “If you let me stay the night.”

Nick will let Louis stay for as long as he’ll have him. He tells him as much. Louis laughs and leans up to kiss him.

For once, Nick can’t feel any of the rubber bands on his chest, just Louis’ weight on him and lips against his.

 

Louis isn’t gone in the morning. Or the one after.

**Author's Note:**

> This would hit like half the boxes on a Tomlinshaw Fic Trope bingo (boys being emotionally constipated, communication issues, size difference, Nick hating on football, Harry's bathroom, Nick's big hands, Louis getting rimmed,) but I'm calling embracing cliches self care so. There.


End file.
